Twas the night before Christmas when the Elves went on strike;
Demanding pay, benefits, and full human rights.

“But you’re not human, you’re Elves,” said a haggard Claus.
“You’re magical creatures under magical laws.”

“Elves simply cannot stop work on a wildcat strike,”
“Especially not on Christmas Eve of all nights.”

“Tough,” said the rep from the Brotherhood of the Elves
“We’re taking a stand and taking care of ourselves.”

“We want central heating, benefits, and fair pay.”
“And until we get them, the picket line will stay.”

“Well, I’ll simply get the reindeer to help,” said Claus,
Who was met with a chorus of Elvish guffaws.

“Go ahead,” said the Rep, “Call the prissy reindeer,”
“Snug in their compound with their blankets of cashmere.”

“They can flit and they can fly, whatever is fun.”
“But you need Elves when there is real work to be done.”

Santa sighed as he walked to the reindeer compound,
Desperately seeking any help to be found.

He greeted the reindeer and called each one by name,
As they frolicked about and played a reindeer game.

He was looking for Rudolph the reindeer team lead.
Rudolph helped before when old Saint Nick was in need.

“Rudolph,” he said, “I need a big favor from you.”
“The Elves are striking when there’s still work left to do.”

“Can the reindeer run the workshop and run my lab?”
“No Santa,” cried Rudolph, “that would make us all scabs.”

“And Elves can be nasty, even though they are small.”
“We won’t cross the picket line, we won’t cross at all.”

“But Santa I’ll see if there’s something I can do.”
“We reindeer want to see Christmas this year, like you.”

So Rudolph left Santa to try and mediate,
Between Claus and the tiny little ingrate

When Rudolph returned he said, “It’s mostly okay,”
“Since there’s no stores at the pole, they’ll give up the pay.”

“And I showed them that benefits aren’t really much good,”
“Since they can’t get sick, so they finally understood.”

“But they simply won’t budge on their final demand,”
“They insist on warm air heat before they’ll disband.”

“But they can’t get cold,” said Santa, “They’re Elf creatures.”
“Cold’s not in their nature; it’s not an Elf feature.”

“Well you shouldn’t have bought them satellite TV,”
“Since they’re getting ideas from the things that they see.”

“They are thinking like people, not thinking like Elves.”
“What they see on TV… well, they want for themselves.”

“Okay,” said Claus, “I’ll call a contractor next week.”
“But the strike will end now or we’re all up the creek.”

“Sorry,” said Rudolph, “The Elves said they will not wait.”
“They want it right now. It’s not open for debate.”

“And just who would respond to a last minute call,”
“To install heating on Christmas Eve, after all?”

“Not my problem,” said Rudolph, “Now I’m going to play.”
“I’ll meet you near midnight. I’ll meet you by the sleigh.”

Old St Nick scratched his head while he tried to recall,
The name of the contractor he met at the mall.

He seemed smart and nice, with a service attitude,
If he called him tonight he might not think Claus rude.

And that’s just how Santa called us on Christmas Eve,
I assembled a crew and we scrambled to leave.

The biggest problem was getting to the North Pole,
I asked and no one knew how, not a single soul.

That’s when we were surprised by a four hoofed reindeer.
“I’ll fly up your truck fast and safe, never you fear.”

At the pole there was chaos as Elves ran around,
Clapping and shouting, making a thunderous sound.

Santa showed us the way and the crew went to work,
While Mrs. Claus brought us fudge, a nice little perk.

We installed the furnaces and thermostats too,
While the Elves ran around saying, “Thank you. Thank you.”

Santa came in and said, “Well it looks done to me.”
“But the hour was late, 11:53.”

“We’ve got plenty of time,” Santa said with a grin.
“Elves work fast as light, once they finally begin.”

The Elves started scurrying from the left to the right,
A blur of activity, it was quite the sight.

And they finished their work at a minute to twelve.
I think we work fast, but nothing’s faster than Elves.

The sleigh was all loaded and the reindeer in place,
And Santa Claus had a merry smile on his face.

“Now it’s time I was off and the same holds for you,”
Said Santa, “This is a job that I know how to do.”

“A reindeer will fly your truck back safe to your shop,”
“I’ll visit you later, I’ll make sure that I stop.”

“Look for something special tomorrow from the Claus,”
“Like wrenches and ratchets and steel rules and hacksaws.”

“And those high tech gadgets you pros are using now,”
“You’ll get as much as your Christmas stockings allow.”

And with that old St Nick’s sleigh took off in a flash.
I turned to my crew and said, “We also should dash.”

“We’ve got families of our own we need to see.”
“But we did good tonight. We did good, yessiree.”

Though you might doubt my tale and find it suspicious,
I still wish you a Merry Contractor Christmas.

© 2016 Service Roundtable

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