Professor Plum, In the Library, With The . . . Beanbag?

Feb. 7, 2013
With the hysteria in some circles over guns, and our propensity for over-reaction and "proactive PR," I wonder if the revolver in the Clue board game is on its way out.

You've heard by now that Hasbro will be switching out one of the tokens found in its Monopoly boardgame. You couldn't miss this bit of important news. The mainstream media love any kind of distraction from the real issues at hand, if you know what I mean.

Anyway, the iron token is headed for a smeltdown, to be replaced by a cat. The oh-so-outdated iron had to go, especially if most voters were Millenials. ("Like, what is that thing, a door stopper?") I would've chosen the helicopter, but as they say . . . WHAT-EVER! (Some people do still say that, right?) And, if Millenials are playing Monopoly, I also say, cool!

This got me thinking about Clue — the Hasbro murder mystery board game, in which players try to guess the perp, location, and weapon. With the hysteria over guns, and the national propensity for over-reaction and "proactive PR," I wonder if the revolver in Clue is on its way out. Recently, a 5-year-old girl was suspended for bringing a Hello Kitty bubble gun to school and threatening to shoot another child with bubbles. So, there's no telling what could happen.

I found there is a newer version of the Clue game that has eliminated the revolver and replaced it with a barbell. I don't know why that decision was made, but it was done some time ago. (Question: would Miss Scarlet or Mrs. White be able to lift it? I would think the victim would have to be asleep.)

Thankfully, from what I found online, it looks like you can still buy a Clue game with a revolver token. Good thing too, because this could escalate, should Hasbro decide to take a kinder, gentler approach:
"Professor Plum, in the library, with the beanbag."
"Miss Scarlet, in the game room, with the rolled-up newspaper."
"Colonel Mustard, in the kitchen, with the oven mitt."


Or, the killer could just bore the victim to death, with recordings of any of President Obama's speeches.

I may have just given Hasbro a great idea.