Sooner or later you are going to be criticized. You are going to be criticized by co-workers, superiors, and subordinates. You are going to be criticized by your suppliers, your competitors, and your customers. You are going to be criticized by your friends, your spouse, and especially your teenage children. It’s how you handle it that’s important.
1. Determine the Nature of the Criticism
There are two types of criticism: destructive criticism and constructive criticism. The latter is meant to help you, so pay attention to it. The former is simply an attack, which can be dismissed.
If someone tells you that you might make more sales if you shave, that’s constructive criticism. Maybe the critic is right and you could make more sales by shaving. It’s worth thinking about. By contrast, if someone tells you that you are one ugly dude and the beard won’t hide it, that’s destructive. You can probably ignore it.
There are two types of criticism: destructive criticism and constructive criticism. The latter is meant to help you. The former is simply an attack.
2. Be Honest With Yourself
Throughout the history of mankind there has only been one perfect person and he died two thousand years ago. You are not perfect. You will make mistakes from time to time. You will be wrong now and then. Sometimes people will call you on it. When it happens, be honest enough with yourself to own up to your screw ups. Everyone makes mistakes. Don’t compound them with the mistake of self-deception.
3. Use Criticism to Improve
The person who cannot handle criticism will never improve. He will lead a static existence, convinced of his own omnipotence, and unable to recognize flaws.
Criticism can help you identify areas where you can improve and do better. If you are already aware of these areas and have never acted, the criticism may be the motive force for you to take action.
Criticism can help you identify areas where you can improve and do better.
As kids playing sports we were all criticized by our coaches. We didn’t reject the coaches’ comments out of hand because we knew our performances would improve if we paid attention. Think of criticism as coaching.
4. Separate the Message From the Delivery
Sometimes we fail to recognize legitimate criticism because of the way it is delivered. Focus on what is said, not the way it is said. Sometimes there is meat in a smartass message.
5. Assess the Critic
Criticism from someone who legitimately cares for you should be considered more carefully that criticism from a guy with an axe to grind. Similarly, criticism from an employee who is concerned about the company should carry more weight than the complaints of the company griper.
6. Clarify
It’s always possible that you misunderstood the criticism or that it was phrased poorly. Ask questions to ensure you understand what the critic intended to communicate. Repeat back the criticism in your own words. “So you’re saying… Is that correct?”
7. Do Not React
If you feel emotions welling up when you are criticized, do your best to tap them down. An emotional response is almost certainly the wrong response.
Resist the urge to get defensive when someone criticizes you. Reacting in anger and name calling are about the worst things you can do. If someone is offering legitimate criticism, your defensiveness will likely squash future criticism, which means you are cutting off a source of information and will not be learning anything. If the critic lacks your best interests and manages to get a rise out of you, expect more attacks in the future.
If someone is offering legitimate criticism, your defensiveness will likely squash future criticism, which means you are cutting off a source of information and will not be learning anything.
It is also a mistake to react by being overly sensitive. Again, people will avoid sharing constructive or harsh information with you in the future if they believe you are going to fall to pieces.
As a kid you probably learned the phrase, “Sticks and stones can break my bones, but names can never hurt me.” Apply it to criticism. It’s just words and contrary to today’s hyper sensitive, politically correct world of micro aggressions and safe spaces, words cannot hurt you unless you give them the power to hurt you. Let illegitimate criticism roll off you like water off a duck’s back. In short, toughen up.
8. Thank the Critic
When you receive constructive criticism, show appreciation to the critic. If the critic points out a mistake you made, apologize. Remember, the critic is risking your reaction in an effort to help you. That merits appreciation.
How to Avoid Criticism
If you would rather avoid criticism than deal with it, Aristotle has some advice for you. He wrote, “There is only one way to avoid criticism: do nothing, say nothing, and be nothing.”
Come to the International Roundtable in Atlanta April 6-8 to hear the oft criticized Matt Michel and other more noteworthy speakers like “Managing Knock Your Socks Off Service” author Chip Bell, Vicki and John LaPlant, Steve Mores from Dynamic Air Quality Solutions, Kathe Stewart from Precision HVAC, Pete Danielson from Modern Mechanical, Jeff Gamblin from Tiger Plumbing, Heating, Air Conditioning and Electrical Services, Dave Squires from Online Access, Stephen Bolen from Emerson, Glen Blavet from Halo, Melanie Gentry and Ian Schotanus from Comprehensive Employment Solutions, Nadia Romero from iMarket Solutions, Joseph Elias Phillips from Service Titan, John Cerqueira from A.O. Smith, and the Consultant’s Roundtable with Todd Liles, Steve Miles, Mark Matteson, John and Vicki LaPlant, Ron Smith, Tom Piscitelli, Ben Stark, Allan Ferguson, Mike Agugliaro, Dave Rothacker, and Ed O’Connell. Call 877.262.3341 for more information.
