Adapted from the new teaching-CD series, "The Power of NO"
Get what you want in 2012 by saying no — no to an overpriced car, no to an unreasonable teen, no to a low-ball raise!
Compromise is the wrong way to get what you want. There’s a better way, and it’s based on saying no from the get-go. If your 2012 resolutions include being more assertive, standing up for yourself, and reaching your goals, then learning to say no, invite no, and be comfortable hearing no is how you'll achieve them.
Here are 8 ways to get what you want in the New Year:
1. Start with no.
Start by telling the other person they’re free to say no to your proposal, but don’t tell them what it is yet. Watch how this simple gesture opens them up.
2. Don’t mind-read.
Don’t assume you know how they’ll react. Instead, find out what they’re really thinking. Ask smart questions so they’ll tell you what’s on their mind.
3. Be a sleuth.
Dig around until you discover their problems, needs, and objectives. If they don’t know, help them see what they should be. Now you can tailor a plan that addresses their specific concerns.
4. Play with emotions.
Check your emotions at the door. But don’t be shy about letting them get excited about your plan. (Hint: The one who’s less needy, wins.)
5. Leap over hurdles.
If you hit a roadblock in the conversation, ask them what problems they foresee with this situation. The more they reveal, the better for you.
6. Neutralize negativity.
Don’t let insults get to you. Instead, agree that you’re ignorant on this subject. Ask them to help you understand what you’re missing.
7. Leave nothing unspoken.
If there’s a 300-pound gorilla in the room you’re pretending isn’t there, face it and discuss it. Difficult issues, when ignored, come back to bite you.
8. Make them a beneficiary.
Based on what you’ve learned, offer them a plan that’s the answer to their problems, and show how they’ll benefit by agreeing to your proposal.
* * * * *Jim Camp is president and CEO of The Camp Negotiation Institute and a renowned negotiation coach to businesses and governments worldwide. He is author of The Power of NO, a 6-CD audio program produced by Nightingale-Conant, the top publisher of leadership development products. His two best-selling books, Start with No and NO: The Only Negotiating System You Need for Work or Home, have been translated into 12 languages. Find out more at www.StartwithNo.com.